Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Nails In Your Coffin?

Maybe I'm just too old for this shit, but nail polish trends seem  stupid to me. They're too hard to pull off. One of my more arty friends tried that "shattered" nail polish look recently, and was pretty non plussed; it didn't look so much shattered as simply a polish mistake.

So, enter what the beauty industry is calling the hottest nail trend: magnetic nail polish. The London based polish company Nails Inc. invented polish with tiny magnetic particles in it, and a special magnet in the removable top. The idea is that you apply the polish, and then hold the magnet top over the second coat to create a "3D" wavy effect. Thus far, there's only three colors: chrome, gold, and a metallic purple shade. It's oh so very Katy Perry, if Katy Perry weren't already shilling that "shattered" crap.

The big problem with this "revolutionary" "3D'" effect is that it kind of makes your now darkly metallic nails look like they have ridges in them. And, as anyone knows, ridges in the nails are not exactly a sign of glorious good health (then again, neither are corpse-like polish shades, like all the swamp greens and odd grays I've seen in the salons, but I digress). In fact, horizontal ridges on the nail beds, as pictured on this hand model, are a sign of major stress.

As I feel I already display my stress quite adequately on my face, in my belly fat and in my overly aggressive driving style, I don't really see the benefit to having it show on my nails, too. I'm going to leave this nail trend to the ten year olds who have the time and inclination to fart around with silly shades and magnet tops. Find it for your favorite pre-teen at Sephora. It might be perfect for Halloween!

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