De-Clutter Now, You Lazy Slobs

This person will never need a GPS to find his keys.

Just when you thought it was safe to come out from the under the dried up christmas tree (the relatives are gone, I promise), you're getting all kinds of flack for not having your house in order. You know: it's de-clutter time in January, so that you can start off the year right and organized, instead of lonely and intoxicated on the couch.

Most of this de-cluttering trend includes lots of elbow grease in terms of cleaning, and plenty of time spent rummaging through closets and trying to decide what to toss (and where to toss it). It's exhausting just contemplating it.

That's why the Toad recommends starting with the entryway, the place in your home where everything piles up. Because you can't afford a butler, and if you have a coat closet it's probably stuffed full of crap (that you haven't gotten around to tossing), you need a landing pad. This ash and brass valet from Cincinnati brand Dixon offers one stylish solution, with hooks for hanging coats and a small shelf for phones and keys. It's clean and modern, yet warm and welcoming. And it keeps your entryway from looking like the aftermath of an NYC sample sale.

The Intersect Valet sells for $148; there are also individual hooks available for $29 each. At Dixon Branded.

DuVenay Does Great Vintage

Real gold and real jewels for the elegantly attired.

While there are some giftees who will only want shiny and new for the holidays, there are others who long for the elegantly preserved (and I don't mean jam). Great vintage is hard to find, and reasonably priced great vintage is rarer still.

DuVenay, a small but selective vintage store on Etsy, manages to deliver vintage for those on a budget (at least, compared to the crazy stuff in L.A., I'm talking to you, PaperBag Princess). The very classy purveyor of this store (shown as a lounging lady looking elegant and so very relaxed), has accumulated an intimate but quintessential selection. You might find a lovely black Gucci bag, or a Rudi Gernreich silk scarf, all in terrific condition. But where DuVenay really shines is in the jewelry selection. In keeping with the Toad's lower price point, there are only lower priced items here, like 1950s sterling earrings or an old yet modernist carnelian signet ring. There are other, more expensive offerings, but nothing is over a grand (a holiday miracle, really).

Pay DuVenay a visit for the vintage fan on your list. You might even pick up a bauble for yourself. At DuVenay.

Gilding the Jewelry

Behold the golden bowl.

Normally, I'm not one who spends time thinking about how to wrap gifts. I mean, I understand the idea and the romance of beautifully wrapped, gorgeous gifts under the tree, but then that lovely wrapping and ribbons are reduced to trash, unceremoniously crumpled into bags and hauled to the curb. It just doesn't seem worth the extra effort.

However, what's ideal is when the wrapping can actually be part of the gift. Say you're giving jewelry, like earrings or a ring. Why not nestle the jewels inside one of these ever so practical little wooden turquoise and golden bowls? Encase the package in cellophane, add one ribbon, and you're done. It's like two gifts in one. These little bowls could later hold rings or earrings, or be used at table to hold
coarse sea salt, or store a small amount of quarters for the meter. It's not a unitasker.

Find these bowls, just 12 bucks each, at Paragraphloop on Etsy. It'll look as impressive as a three hour Martha Stewart wrap job, but with multiple uses. And that, my friends, is really a good thing.

Holy Betta Poop: The AquaFarm Makes Kitchen Gardening Easy

These kids are enjoying the cycle of growth in action!

I think that, at this point, almost everyone has had a Betta fish living with them. As pretty as these fancy fish are, they don't usually add much to your home's productivity. Until now.

Introducing the AquaFarm. This aquarium/home and kitchen garden operates on a simple concept. The fish lives in the aquarium below, living its fishy existence, while the plants of your choice (if Fish lives in the kitchen, herbs would be nice) live on top, and prosper and thrive on the water and fish poop below. Apparently, the AquaFarm is even self cleaning (which is more than I can say for the ultra cool, but algae prone, stackable modernist fish bowls my fish occupy). This would be a wonderful gift for an apartment dwelling child: she'll enjoy the fish, and learn about growing foodstuff too. That's a pretty green gift. 

The AquaFarm comes with aquatic supplies and plant seeds, the owner supplies the water and fertilizing fish. $59.99 at Back To The Roots.

Yafah Menorah

Rock your candles and spin the dreidel in style.

This year, the festival of lights comes early, say around Turkey Day, so the lighting up and the continuous nights of presents are coming up quickly. And are you and yours prepared with a yafah menorah?

Yafah means beautiful in Hebrew, which is exactly the word to describe this handmade, handcarved, elegant menorah. Made of gorgeous walnut with a classic grain, this menorah would fit in just about any decor (but would truly shine in modernist setting). Created by Portland, OR designer Niles Snyder, this isn't a menorah you'd just pick up at Judiaca For Less. This is a keeper to light up your Chanukah table year after year.

The yafah walnut menorah is $75, a pittance for a potential family heirloom. At Canoe.

Cross Stitch Some Holiday Snark

It's not your mother's DIY project. Or, maybe it is!

I remember my mother needlepointing a very groovy, geometric pillow when I was a kid. It took her forever, and required multiple trips to the "Needles N' Tees" store for thread and accessories. It was a project.

Well, that was then, but this is now, and what's very now is turning those needle skills into something more suitable for the times. Subversive Cross Stitch has that covered. Every one of its seemingly traditional, suitable for framing cross stitch kid designs is snarky and off putting, which of course makes it perfect to hang in your bathroom or gift a crafty yet sarcastic friend. The sayings range from the profane to the merely sardonic (see above), and from holiday themed to everyday rant. On top of all that "humor," a monkey could learn to cross stitch, so the giftee should be fine in that arena. Alternatively, you could stitch that sucker yourself and give the finished product.

At just $20 per kit, this gift is a bargain for a piece of, ahem, decorative art. Find out the myriad messages of self expression at Subversive Cross Stitch.

Permanent Turkey for Holiday Avian Decor

Roasty, toasty, and juicier than most real birds!

Thanksgiving isn't always about cooking. Sometimes, it's just about showing up somewhere and eating the fruits (or birds) of someone else's labors.

That's all well and good, but how can you participate and bring a gift suitable for both occasion and table? In the case of Thanksgiving, look no further than this handy dandy inflatable turkey. Folded neatly in a tin box, this plastic turkey inflates in minutes and adds definite drama to the holiday setting. Place it in the center of the table to sub for the real thing. Let it hang out on the sofa with guests (it makes a fine headrest in a pinch). Or, hang it from above the front door, as a sort of Thanksgiving themed mistletoe (perhaps mutual gobbles instead of kisses?).

At just $11.99, this is a holiday bird you can afford and use, time and time again. An added bonus: terrorizing vegans with it. At Perpetual Kid.