Obviously, it's not your funeral. Because if it were, you'd have other concerns (or be, perhaps, beyond all concerns) besides what your funeral attendees want to eat. It's one party where you don't want to be the honoree.
But for the rest of us, standing at the grave, sitting shivah, attending the wake, we all need food, particularly the bereaved family. So what do you supply or send? Forget flowers; they die. How about a bereavement gift box from the famed Zingerman's? It's stuffed with bread, cheese, salami, an excellent coffeecake and pastries. It's easy to leave out for a crowd or squirrel away for the immediate family. And it's about $100.
Order it online at www.zingermans.com. And remember: food is a way to celebrate life, even in the midst of sadness and grief.
This is written in honor of Rachel.