V-Day Cat Nap Fever

Face it: the cat already hogs the bed, so it might as well take the pillows, too.

Yes, again with the Valentine's Day recommendations. Because there's no other holidays on the horizon worth discussing. And, although today's gift pick is ideal as a "couples" V-Day offering, it could just as easily be ideal for the crazy cat person.

The world is actually pretty rife with "his and hers" pillowcases, etc (also, in the spirit of political correctness: "his and his," and "hers and hers"). But these are more in line with the idea that you really share your sleeping space with a feline. That's right: two pillowcases with abstract kitty heads and ears on them. Because, if you have a cat or two, you already know that they consider everything in the house to be theirs and theirs alone. Including both pillows. One could argue that this is really a V-Day gift for the cat.

Anyway, these cases are cute, and they're 300 thread count pima cotton, which is nice for kitties and humans alike. And, they're just $32 on Etsy. That's a bargain for nice linens, and a gift that'll greatly outlast a bunch of posies.

My Silly Valentine: Unicorn Poop

At least these are horn free.

Yes, I know that we all hate Valentine's Day. If you're with someone, it's an obligatory drag. If you're solo, it's simply a humiliation of a holiday. But this is a gift site, damn it, and I'm basically required by the laws of all that is retail to cover V-Day in detail (notice: it rhymes).

Many of us are easy and can be placated with a ridiculously enormous box of See's Candy (just skip those creepy fruit ones and the divinity, please). But what about humor and a few less fat grams? What do you give for a good giggle or two? How about Unicorn Poop Cookies? These cookies, with their rainbow bright hues, celestial sprinkles, and curiously reminiscent shape, could indeed be the, ahem, excretions of a unicorn. If such a creature existed. (An aside: at circus class, we call a straight male who takes class a "unicorn," because he's as rare as one). This very childish and silly gift is entirely appropriate for a child, or a very immature adult. And, on the plus side, I bet they're calorie free because they probably taste like poop, too (or at least like pure artificial food coloring, which is pretty much the same thing).

These cookies can be purchased for $25 at Fab. Alternatively, you could also look up the recipe, buy a load of carcinogenic coloring, and make your own. Your call.

Sweet Bunny Love

Just add Skittles, jelly beans or M&Ms. But you might want to skip the Raisinettes.

As much as I rail against it, Valentine's Day is approaching. My Mr. Crab has a great, deep, and passionate love of M&Ms. I've purchased many types for him, even some with his face emblazoned on them (the first batch sent was eaten by the dog, who sniffed them out hidden in my closet). But maybe I should think more creatively and go for display rather than pure sugar.

Since Mr. Crab likes candy and I like sinister bunny rabbits, this porcelain bunny display platter is just the V-Day ticket. First off, the platter part looks like the bunny is stuck in a vast Elizabethan collar that you customize with color (from pastel candy to golden foil kisses for formal events). Second, the bunny has some funky triangle pattern all over him, apropos of nothing. In short, the bunny is weird, and that's just how I like my home decor.

So, order this display platter, pick up some custom M&Ms with some terrible truncated message printed on them, and Valentine's Day is ready to go. I'm sure the bunny will be happy and, displayed with a porcelain Bob's Big Boy and a Colonel Sanders, in good weirdo company. For $54 at Fred Flare.

Be a Scent Worthy Traveler

It stinks so good.

I appear to be breaking out of my normal "I hate perfume" rant in the last few months, suggesting new scents aplenty. You already know I'm picky about the smells. I'm also picky about what I pack.

That's why this Diptyque solid perfume is such a perfect gift for the traveler in your life. Normally, traveling with perfume requires decanting the stuff into some tiny travel atomizer, which may or may not work once you reach your destination. Plus, there's always the chance of a leak; even if you love your perfume, I guarantee that once it's leaked all over your bag you won't remember it fondly ever again. But this solid perfume is total genius. Encased in a heavy, elegant black compact, Diptyque offers up this potent waxy substance in a few formulations. Do Son is my personal favorite, since I like to travel to tropical locales. Do Son is heavy on the tuberose. I wouldn't necessarily want such a languid floral in Chicago in the winter, but for Hawaii it's just perfect. Smear a bit around the back of the neck, on the backs of your knees and even behind your ears, and then waft that good stuff with every step you take. And it won't ruin your bag.

At $48, I think this solid scent is a steal. Find it at Diptyque (or find a store that sells it and do some scent sampling first; you might think Do Son absolutely stinks so bad).