China Syn-Gnome

It's no great secret that I feature a fair amount of gnomish (gnomic?) merchandise on this blog. You see, whether it's in the garden (I have a garden gnome holding, incongruously, a fish) or in your living room (Starck Gnome table, anyone?), I think a gnome delivers humor, irony and funk in one winsome package.

So here's a new gnome. If you haven't figured it out by now, he hails from China. Yeah, I know, gnomes are from Norway or some such Nordic place. China is for dragons and crouching tigers. But this guy is so... bizarre. He's not exactly plump. He's not exactly welcoming, although he is holding a magic mushroom. And he's dressed up like Chairman Mao. He's also a stuffed shirt, so I wouldn't place him in the garden. Perhaps on the couch as a throw pillow. If you think he'd tolerate that sort of treatment. Don't be surprised if you find the house pets gathered around him one fine morning for a session of healthy self-criticism.

Order this guy for the gnome fan in your life. He'll add something new and different to the decor. At www.grifted.com.cn.

Public Transit T

At first, this item looks like a gag gift, but it isn't really. It's just specific to the public transit commuter (like my sister, who rides the NYC subway every day).

Every devotee of public transportation has some interesting, often traumatic, often very funny story to tell about her crowded journey. Flashers, muggers, the unwashed, the insensitive, and the extremely noisy (and sometimes insane) all make an appearance on a daily public commute. And this t-shirt reminds public commuters to (in Japanese, no less) "Beware of Perverts." Such good advice, particularly for the ladies. Send this top to any hardcore commuting woman, and she will laugh and thank you (and maybe even wear it on the subway, scaring off Japanese tourists by the tour bus-full).

This reminder of the commuter's plight is available at www.thinkgeek.com. Order them as gifts and spread the awareness far and wide.

You Are The Cheese?

Maybe it's that I just finished Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, but I really do feel that people are examining the origins of their food more carefully. And while this sort of foodie paranoia can grow tiresome, it can also spur someone to create good stuff to share.

Take cheese, for instance. Fresh mozzarella cheese, more specifically. Sure, your foodie friends could pick it up at the market anytime, but where's the control? If you gift them this home cheesemaking kit from Zingerman's Holiday Food Catalog, they can control all the means of production. Time and place, milk quality, quantities and cost efficiency all come into play as they create their very own curds and whey. This simple kit delivers 48 batches of cheese with fairly minimal effort. That's a whole lotta caprese! That means that you, the gifter, get to enjoy the "fruits" of the giftee's labor.

And this extravagance of dairy is available for just $35 (not including the cost of some high quality, non-ultra-pasturized milk). Order through www.zingermans.com. It's one cheesy gift they'll celebrate.

Photo DIno

Often technology, which starts out as a miracle, ends up going the way of the dinosaur. So be it with Polaroid camera technology. Once the party fave for quick candids, it's been replaced by the uploadable, retouchable, totally accessible and distributable digital camera (aka, your phone).

That's why this ceramic ware Polaroid camera is so ideal. It's like a fossil record of film technology. Because, let's face it: the only thing a Polaroid camera is good for anymore is as a paperweight. So give this facsimile to your favorite camera buff for display purposes only. It can sit as evidence of progress, a concrete memory of past parties, and a reminder that, eventually, all good things gather dust (some far more attractively than others).

Find this photo dino at www.shoptwine.com. And then take a good, hard look at your iPhone. It might, someday, end up atop a mantel too.

Da Bird

It's true that decor is a very personal affair. One person's fabulous industrial age find might be another's Hummel figurine hideousness. But, (in this crowd, anyway), most of us are into the unusual, the quirky, and often the one-of-a-kind.

Thus, first I show you this parrot (Da Bird) that kind of goes everywhere precisely because he doesn't really match up with anything. Seriously. He's sort of crabby and fishy-eyed, and yet he has a sort of jungle-worn dignity. Presently, I can think of at least three people on my gift list who might appreciate Da Bird, all for different reasons (and I'm sure they'd all display his brilliant plumage in different places in the house). And the best thing is, he looks like a one-off, but he's actually a multiple, from Gary Gibson in Los Angeles.

Now, normally, I just discuss a particular item, but in this design studio/shop's case I'm making an exception. This store is just brimming with fabulous random stuff. I'm talking about antique pencil sharpeners, fabulous lamps, interesting art, and tons of other items that help make a home a home. There's countless opportunities for a truly personal gift here, or you can give them Da Bird and they'll be tickled too.

Go immediately to www.garygibson.com.

Cozy Comfy Texting

We don't suffer from this affliction in sunny Los Angeles (where the mercury rarely descends below 65 degrees), but in NYC, Philly, Seattle, and virtually everywhere else, digits get COLD. And what do cold digits lead to (besides possible frostbite)? They lead to lousy and inaccurate texting (possibly WORSE than possible frostbite).

Enter Freehands gloves. They masquerade as ordinary, indeed utilitarian gloves (no ultra-soft deerskin here with cashmere lining), but the index fingertip lifts off for instant phone operation. It's such an elegant solution to such a 2009 problem. Now, your commuting friend can brave the frigid east coast streets in comfort, knowing that they can text, tweet, and otherwise communicatively annoy others in a flash.

Plus, Freehands are a great gift because they're not pricey, simply innovative. Sometimes you don't have to pay a load for great design. Check out all the finger tapping options at www.shopfreehands.com.

So NOT Barbie

Sure, politics march on (erratically and annoyingly), but there are plenty of the Obama faithful out there, with shirts and bumper stickers and bobble heads, too.

But they've been missing someone, and so has their Obama figurine. I'm talking Michelle, people. And now you can order Michelle in mini form. Choose from three different versions of the powerhouse First Lady. I'm particularly partial to the red and black Thakoon dress she wore on Election Night (yes, she did, and gave fashion a big boost to boot). Make sure she's right by his side at all times, since you know he's been lonely hanging out on their desk or dash or whatever.

The three faces of Michelle are waiting for your order at www.jailbreaktoys.com. You could even have her infiltrate the Barbie house in your kid's room and get them all to register as Democrats.