Friday, May 14, 2010

High Class Problems

Warning: this is not a gift recommendation, it's a rant.

As an LA mom, the Toad belongs to a Yahoo group called My Favorite Things. It's a group for East Los Angeles mothers looking for... well, everything from restaurant recommendations to baby advice. Some of the posts are thoughtful and heartfelt, but many of them involve domestic help situations, from complaints about cleanliness to peddling them out as if they were indentured servants for more work to unrelated but annoying requests for vacation homes in fancy locales. In short, it's a bulletin board for rich people with high class problems.

This, in and of itself, is fine. Problems are problems, and problems are relative. But, when some clueless woman posted about what to pay an illegal vs. a legal nanny, the Toad took umbrage. First off, it's illegal. Second, it's just lousy. It's looking for cut rate childcare and it takes advantage of those who cannot defend themselves. Plus, it's just moronic to ask such a thing on a public forum.

So the Toad wrote something to post. Then, she wondered: would this post be taken seriously? Would MFT members actually try to be "helpful"? Would some of them take offense and have the Toad banned? I decided to post it here first, for your reading pleasure. Tell me if you think the Toad would be ejected from LA polite online society or not...

To: My Favorite Things

Subject: Seeking Personal Waiter

Hi guys. I’ve grown tired of the iffy and indifferent service offered by L.A. wait staffs, as well as the inconvenience of having to speak into the drive thru speaker myself. I’m currently seeking a Personal Waiter, someone with lots of food service experience who can travel with me, both in and out of town, to serve just my family and myself. I need someone who understands the workings of professional kitchens and can adjust quickly to new environments. A good, clear speaking voice is mandatory (English only, please). The ability to communicate special dietary requests is also paramount; I have a severe pickle allergy and need to be constantly on my guard, so my Personal Waiter would act as a gatekeeper in that regard.

I will supply the uniform and apron. As I have a small vehicle, the Personal Waiter should be of smaller stature. Although I would prefer they be legal, I would consider an illegal for a lower wage.

If you know of anyone who fits this Personal Waiter description, please contact me.