Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Saggy Bottom Blues

Occasionally, The Toad finds something so wretched, so unattractive, so absurd, she feels compelled to post about it, just to complain. This is one of those posts.

I've felt for a while now that those low-crotched harem pants are a very bad idea. It doesn't matter whether you're fat or thin, because you'll look like an elephant in them. I've heard them termed "dump pants," and I think that's their true purpose (sufferers of irritable bowel syndrome, this might be your fashion moment, but it's bad for everyone else). At least when they're in soft jersey or sweat material, though, they have a soft fluidity, a comfy aspect that might work around the house (especially if you live alone and refuse to answer the door when wearing them). But these are harem jeans. Say what? Harem jeans, which mean that the stiff, unyielding denim crotch and tush on these jeans is too long, thus making the wearer look deformed. There is no good way to wear this style. Not with boots. Not with a crop top. And not with hooker platform heels. It's hopeless, people, and this item's very existence makes me fear for fashion's future.

These horrible ill-conceived jeans are at But I have no idea why you'd bother buying them.

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